The system is down

The system is down.

– Strongbad

I had a good morning ponder today. I may be deliriously tired, but I am not on standby. There are a few things I’m flushing out because I feel seriously like crud healthwise, so here is at least some water for the mental flowers in an effort to help me get better. As for ol’ healthy health, commence Kombucha binging. That stuff smells like the work of an organic chemist who happens to be a magical beverage monger. Popeye had his spinach; I’ve got this weird fermented tea. Almost gross. Almost. Sometimes I imagine it’s like an energy potion when I drink it. Cleansing stuff.

But I need to get this word out of my system, or at least take it out of heavy rotation. Seriously. 

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass, asssssssss!

So in one of my recent entries I noticed how much I said “ass.” It was despicable, not to mention, I was kissing his ass basically. But with all that talk of assless bikes and ass cancer and, let’s face it, how awesome my ass looked in my jeans. I’m going to say ass a lot today in this space, which is good, because it will get it out of my system. So far I’ve said “ass” at least once in every single sentence in this paragraph. It’s not really a great accomplishment, but I’m working toward something here. It’s such a funny word. That sharp -ss at the end makes it like a verbal booty slap. It’s the same way in French — fesse. It’s also like some highhat cymbals. Here is master percussionist Max Roach on the hi-hat. Just the hi-hat :

Take a look at some of the fun results of a oogle search on my favorite form of the word:

– “The nine most badass Bible verses
– Urban Dictionary’s user-submitted definitions of badass. I love hearing what other people define words in our cognizé, especially on this site. Isn’t it strange to know our perception of words will never be the same as another person’s, simply because we can never actually put ourselves in somebody else’s shoes?
– A Yahoo forum that answers the age-old question that we all run into– “What does it mean to be badass?” Seriously people. We are asking each other questions like this on forums. Wha… go outside! Take a walk! I’ll beat you to it and mention how I shouldn’t talk because I’m blogging right now. Whatever! It’s my life, and it’s not or never. I’m not gonna live forever. I just want to live. While I’m. Alive. (c) Bon Jovi. Like I said. Cleaning things out of my system.

UNH!

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