Glad that wasn’t me!

By: epluribusgeenum

Apr 07 2009

Category: Alchemy for boring days

1 Comment

Kudos to you, sound effects crew of America’s Funniest Videos.  Your job is an art form.  You know how to turn a pretty viral video where someone stupid gets hurt into good ol’ fashioned fun for me, the bystander who walks away unscathed and laughing my head off.  There’s the boingy sound you use to render the blow to a man’s testicles into a cute Tom & Jerry moment.  Reproductive organs, pish posh!  Boing!

Or like the one where that plump lady attempts to ride a dirt bike (not on dirt) and soars past the handlebars, right before her face plants into the front wheel.  That didgeridoo-y twang when her face get scalded by the rapidly-moving rubber makes it seem like nothing but a bump on the forehead.  Hilaaaaaaarious!

And that high school football themed montage?  The one that ends on the best note ever– a cheerleading squad holds up a banner for their team to run through.  One of the cheerleader lingers for too long and gets trampled by the team!  Awww, woops!  But it’s cool because some blasty rootin-for-the-home-team music with horns and shouting make it just a funny part of someone’s day. 

There’s so much on TV that makes me think: Hmm, glad that’s not me!  I mean AFV included.  If I watched that every day I’d be set and probably not have a bad day.  A trick I use when I’m feeling low is reminding myself that at least I’m not a victim of the Holocaust, or like, I have shoes and running water and food to eat.  Seriously.  That’s a little histrionic, but what is life without a little bit of that?  You can’t have the chill without the drama.  And in terms of drama on TV, I’d rather it stay on the screen than in my life, hard as it may be to shove it away.  What happens between the people on Project Runway?  Pretty delicious.  And I won’t lie, I watched Rock of Love, and had no vested interest in any of the cast other than seeing ridiculous shit go down, screwing up my upper lip and being all, “Man.  So glad I am who I am.”  I wonder how much that does for me as a human being.  Probably not that much.  But then again there are things like [adult swim] or Jeopardy!  And the Discovery Channel, of course.  Funny how [adult swim] came out first priority, then a game full of trivial knowledge, then a channel that allows you to discover the world.   Speaking of which, discover this!

The website this is from is called "dooby brain." I felt that should be shared.

 The hell is that? 

Do I even have to say it?  Refer to title.

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One comment on “Glad that wasn’t me!”

  1. Oh that’s naaasty. I think it would help if she got bangs. I guess after a while you just come to accept your foreheadweiner.

    I am indeed glad that is not me.


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